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Eleven days until I leave for school! Spent the morning painting the…

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mrs slocombe's gossip
Eleven days until I leave for school!

Spent the morning painting the porch and railings outside, which actually isn't a very bad task. This afternoon, I have a doctor's appointment and then my dad and I are going shopping for some supplies I'll need in my dorm, ie: snacks and things like shampoo. ;) I'm getting a bit excited, actually.

Got cornered in the grocery yesterday by one of my aunts. She's a bit of an oddity and I don't see their family too often even though they live in the same town as my parents. Her husband is an extremist sort of pastor, the kind that claims it'll not be long now before they are all raptured up to Heaven and who doesn't allow his kids to make friends with people who are not devout Christians according to his standards (for example, he doesn't think Catholics, Orthodox or certain popular denominations are Christian). They disowned my cousin when she came out as a lesbian, after pretending for a very long time that it wasn't happening. My aunt isn't actually very religious, not in the way I think of religious which is respecting the sacred. Hers is sort of a pick and choose religion. She believes, for instance, that if she wakes up in the middle of the night and has to use the bathroom, that is God calling on her to pray and sacrifice her sleep for him. To each their own, I suppose, it just seems like dice tossing more than religion, but I'm an agnostic, church-going but still agnostic, so I guess I don't have much say. Anyway, my aunt and I had a strange banter. This is more or less an accurate transcript:

Aunt: *sharply* Lily!
Me: Hey, aunt T
Aunt: *narrowing eyes* What are you wearing?
Me: *wearing jeans and a t-shirt with a picture of Remus Lupin on it*
Aunt: *glaring* You are harlot?
Me: Er, I don't think so
Aunt: That's a lot of eyeliner for someone who isn't in the sex industry, honey.
Me: Okay...I'll wash it off at home.
Aunt: You do that. Take that lipstick off, too (Clear gloss!). You look like a slut. That's the wrong kind of attention, you know? Guys around here don't respect girls that sleep around.
Me: I'm not actually dating here right now...
Aunt: Dating's a sin. You should court. That's what your cousin A did. (Cousin A is 15)  Your dad said you were leaving.
Me: I am, in two weeks.
Aunt: He said you'd already left.
Me: Oh, well, I haven't.
Aunt: He said you were gone.
Me: *trying to smile* No, I'm here.
Aunt: No, he said you'd left. *shakes head* Well, before you leave you need to stop over by the house, got that?
Me: Sure
Aunt: I mean it. We got to pray over you before you go.
Me: Oh?
Aunt: *glaring again* They teaching you evolution at your school? Trying to turn you away from the Lord? The righteous shall win out, little miss. Only the meek will stand to inherit *loses cohesion* Yeah, we need to say prayers of protection over you! You need the armour of God on you! Temptation comes from all sides. Satan will try to sway you, you know! Your evolution classes don't teach you that, huh?
Me: I'm not taking science courses this term...
Aunt: Ungodly curriculum all of it.
Me: I go to a Catholic school. We're actually required to do a religions course.
Aunt: Catholics! Geez, gee whiz I can tell you some things about Catholics. Catholics! *in my face* You worship the Pope?
Me: No.
Aunt: Kiss a pope's ring?
Me: Is that part of it? I'm not Catholic, I just go there.
Aunt: *muttering under her breath* Having sex with the Pope...
Me: I'm not.
Aunt: You stay away from those Satanists.
Me: I don't know any Satanists, actually...
Aunt: You think you're funny? You think it's a joke? The Catholic church is full of Satanists. The Christians are being persecuted by Satanists. There are Satanists here, everywhere. The Lord told me that. Look, Satanists. *points to a woman buying milk* Black cloaked Satanist!
Me: Um, the ice cream is melting...I should get going.
Aunt: You come by the house, we'll knock those devils back! You'll stand for purity in this demonic world. Can't be too careful. Never too soon to get right with God. The day of judgement will soon be upon us. Hey, do you know what aisle the ketchup is in?
Me: Six, I think.
Aunt: It would be six. 666. Satanists! I shouldn't be giving my money here. You take care, honey, we'll see you this week.
  • (no subject) - bittersweet325
    • I actually was struggling not to laugh at times, but I try to be respectful because I've seen her lash out at people who disagree with her. She'll do things like thump people on the head or chest to drive devils out of them...and I was also afraid she'd start yelling. I do have a thing for older men, but I suppose Pope Benedict is a bit out of my league, LoL. Yes, apparently she thinks there's a lot more to Catholicism than most people understand. :D
      • (no subject) - bittersweet325
        • Oh, I know, not to mention that it would start a controversy bigger than the debate after the DaVinci Code. ;)

          Yeah, she was fairly contained. I wouldn't have minded her yelling at me, but it would have been embarrassing to watch her scream at nearby shoppers and tell them they weren't right with God for whatever reason.
  • Oh dear lord... what an odd woman. :-/ But oddly funny... it's just a lot of the things she says are so ridiculous. And yes, "Having sex with the Pope" takes the cake, heh.

    Yay, it's back to school soon. Got to admit, I'm a little excited too. :-D
    • LoL, yes, she is....I think she has some kind of thought process wherein she hears a story, like about the sex abuse scandal with some priests, and completely misinterprets or inflates it. She's done that for other things, too. The funniest part for me was her hissing people in the store, accusing them under her breath of being Satanists. :D

      It is exciting! Are you home yet, or still abroad?
      • It feels to me that whenever she hears a story she just has to find some way to tie it back in to some sort of worldwide Satanic conspiracy, LoL.

        I'm still abroad, but I'll be home in another week or so, I think. Which is just as well, because I'm a little anxious to get home and sort out some stuff before it's back to school. My desk seriously needs to be cleaned up, for example... LoL, and I thought I was going to clean it up before I left for vacation.
        • Something like that, LoL. She has such a strange worldview.

          That's good, it'll be nice to have a bit of time to adjust before getting thrown back in the routine. Mr Procrastination struck again, hmm? Oh well, you'll get to the desk cleaning eventually.
          • Yes indeed, Mr Procrastination is guilty as charged... not sure if I'll really get around to it, though. Will probably just brush everything aside and that'll last me through another year. I'm flying back tomorrow. But it'll be a week or so before I actually get back, seeing as we'll be stopping over in Singapore for a couple of days again. And then it'll be another week or so before school starts. I still haven't finished reading any of the novels on the curriculum... or revised my Latin. LoL. Meh, I'm never particularly productive during summers...

            Right, I'll talk to you again soon - when I'm landed safely someplace. Bye for now, love!
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